Travel Guide - Ooty ~ More Helpful

Travel Guide - Ooty ~ More Helpful

Waiting for a Trip!

                                            

I’m a travel junkie, not that I travel a lot but I’m addicted. Also, I’m contradictory. Getting to the point, whenever I go on a trip I feel like not coming back. I feel like I want to travel every week in fact every day. But I don’t get to travel much.

But this time some sort of anxiety is growing, which is not something new as I tend to get excited very easily when it comes to travel. Right now, I’m getting desperate but I’ve to wait for the weekend if something materialises which is very unlikely. The last time I was so excited for a trip I had the aweomest trip of my life. It was in August and I was going to Mussorie with 7 more guys from my office cricket team. It was a helluva trip. Now another trip is being planned, the planning started yesterday with options like Agra, Chandigarh and Jaipur being discussed and today Rishikesh is the final choice. It’s a trip with different buddies, from my office team and and my best buddies here. Surely, if everything goes right it would be worth remembering. Though there would be no drinks because of  Navratre but who needs booze when such good friends are there for company.

The only reason the trip could get stuck is an asshole who sits just on my right and right now is peeping on my monitor as I write this. Sumit I’m going to screw you if I hear any if or but.  

Once the travel bug bites there is no Antidote : Michael Palin

Abandoned Dreams

I have always wanted to be a sportsman. My love affair with sports started with 1996 World Cup with Sri Lanka and for days I couldn’t get it off my mind, dreaming how I could have helped the Indian team to win and one day I will be part of this team and beat Sri Lanka. Crazy Fantasies. I was just ‘6’ then, now I’m 22 will be 23 in a few days but only one thing has been a constant, I still have the same fantasies. Every time India loses, the planning continues. And when we win there is an emptiness in the deepest corners of heart that ‘Could I’ve been part of this’

The happiest moment of my life is India winning the 2011 World Cup and its hangover lasted for quite a few days. I was ecstatic, on a high, proud, in fact there are no words in dictionary to define what it felt like. Everyone who knows me will feel sports is something that brings joy to me. But today, out of nowhere got a feeling, Has sports really made me happy???

Yes & No. When our team wins it gives me a kick and motivates to work hard towards the real goals. When we lose it takes out half the energy out of me like a bad hangover. It isn’t just about Cricket, it’s about every sport.  I respect every person who achieved his dreams or got close or even worked sincerely towards it especially the Sports Persons who have always inspired me, be it Sachin, Messi or Djokovic. I’ve utmost respect for them because they achieved what they dreamt of. I see in them what I wanted to be and it hurts me.

I was reading an interview of Baichung Bhutia this morning, his heroics, how he became a national hero, the amount of hard work that goes in reaching to this level and facing all the hurdles as he comes from a place with not so great facilities and now giving it all back to his state and I’ve read millions of such interviews and it really makes me feel like a ‘loser’. I couldn’t achieve what I wanted, couldn’t fulfill my dreams, my crazy fantasies. Every day I still imagine myself in blue colours playing for India or helping India qualify for the Football World Cup.

Every day the dreams are fulfilled with imaginations, trying to feel complete. Imagining myself living someone else’s life. Sometimes feeling I hate sports because it makes me feel defeated. Still undecided whether I ate or love the game?

Will I ever be really happy even if have a successful professional career?

 The dream is still a dream and I know can’t be fulfilled but I’m still searching for ways to attached to the real game in some meaningful way. May be that could fill up the barren spaces and provide some solace?

Confused Ramblings

I’m writing this post for no reason and I don’t know what I’m writing about. Usually I don’t write but right now I feel vulnerable and when I feel so I talk to my friends but this time everyone seemed too busy for me so I had no choice other than writing.

I don’t like to be alone but sometimes it’s good to be. I’m not a loner by any means but off late

I've been behaving like one. I’m a social person and mingle well. I do form an opinion about almost everyone and everything and most of the times it’s a positive one. I try not to be negative about anyone until I know them.

I trust people very easily. If you are good to me, I’m all yours. I don’t care how you are with others or what wrong/right you have done with others but as long as you are nice to me, I really don’t care. Maybe I’m wrong but there are things you can’t change yourself and that’s the way I am. And for the same reason I’ve been betrayed so many times. I give up too much importance and many a times end up piece of crap and somewhat used. It’s not about self respect or ego. I have too much of self respect but you can never be a good friend to anyone if you have too big an ego.

Maybe I’m foolish, I don’t know , maybe I should have changed and learnt from my mistakes but for the same reason I've made so many really good friends. I’m a good person at heart (not boasting but something I know). Compassionate, Helpful, Caring, Empathic.

I always try to be happy. I’m a happy soul and I’m happy most of the times and whenever I’m not it shows on my face and I become full of sarcasm and behave like an ass. I’m a straight forward person and I can’t be two faced. But right now I feel vulnerable for no particular reason maybe because I don’t know where my life is heading. I feel angry but can’t take out my anger on anyone particularly at home but I need to vent out my frustration. Also I can’t tell anyone because I’m like this only. Right now, everything seems to be jumbled up.

I have stopped caring about others opinion and I don’t like to be judged. But if someone says something please give a reason for that and seriously if you say I’m a liar or a coward it would only bring a smile on my face at least someone had the courage to tell it to me on my face. I also have a habit of explaining things and giving my opinion to those I care and I don’t say anything without a reason. I may be wrong but I’m not perfect and neither are you.

Right now I’m confused. I don’t feel happy at most places. The only place where I feel happy is while playing. It’s the only place where I’m calm and happy. I don’t really show much emotion while playing but when it comes out it overflows and I feel it’s the real me.

I have stopped bothering about things which really bothered me some time back. I want to become a cold person, selfish. Sort myself out of the mess and I don’t need time because I think a lot and more time I get I feel depressed. But right now I need to get myself on track and good for myself.